The novel Beloved holds many themes and events that jump out of you. Its such a deep and graphic novel that reading it is truly an adventure in its own. One of the things that i learned came right after chapter 1, where we see Paul D try his best to win the heart of Sethe, and he does. But after years of staying with her and dealing with her he sees her as a disappointment and grows tired of her. Her beautiful scars that he used to kiss so tenderly are no longer beautiful, he sees her as a burden, and ugly. It was funny to think that he used to have so much motivation to see Sethe and care for her. Where has it gone? Or was there other hidden intentions behind Paul D’s conquest of her. Paul D didn't really actually love Sethe or care for her, he wanted her for what she could offer him. (Her body) He didn't really want her, he wanted to use her, and now that he has her, he's no longer contempt he wants more, and something different. Paul D is the type of person who thinks he likes something but in reality he does not. He is a confused person, and is now enrolled with a person that he sees in disgust. So now he's stuck and well see this situation play out throughout the novel. In addition, he even ends up cheating on sethe with beloved, "she moved him"(134) and not in a good way. She changed him and ends up regretting sleeping with her. Even after that he still portrays Beloved as his mysterious lover. So obviously hes confused, yet that confusion is what draws him to her.
With this in mind I open my eyes and see that things in life are temporary if you don't really actually push for it, or truly want it. Its confusing figuring out what you desire when a person changes themselves everyday. I see that just because you think you desire something doesn't mean you should go out and get it, because more than likely that desire is gonna go away. Which will not turn out well for me if i spent so much time and effort focusing on the thing I'm not passionate about. For example, i may want to study engineering, but years later want to try out a job in business. It would be really difficult for me to change that if i had already spent money and time on it, yet i can switch but there's always that thought that it might not work out. But at the same time I've seen that change can be a good thing, because change can make you happy, even if it's temporary it will make you happy and happiness is key to life. That's how i see it.
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